Target has certainly stepped up its game when it comes to affordable fashion. What has helped it gain a reputation for cute threads is its Go International campaign. The campaign, which began two-and-a-half years ago, brings known designers whose names are synonymous with style and high-end fashion to the national chain store. Beyond the Mossimo and Exhilaration labels, every several months a designer is selected to create an affordable clothing line exclusively for Target. In the past, names like Tara Jarmon (Paris), Luella Bartly (London), and Alice Temperley (London, but whose designs have a bit of a French flair) have become associated with the Target brand. The great thing about Go International is that Target keeps outdoing itself in terms who they snag as an exclusive designer. Starting next month, Thakoon, a Thai-born designer who is known for his feminine yet sporty looks, will create his line for Target, affordable and no doubt chic.
If you have a disposable income (I certainly don’t!), then you can definitely afford these Thakoon dresses:

Graffiti Gathered Dress, $1,175 / Floral Inside Out Dress, $1,250

However, if you are like me, a woman who loves to dress up and have fun, but doesn’t want to break the bank while doing so, the clothes that will be at Target from Thakoon will be more up your (price) alley. A few sneak peeks at the line reveal flirty skirts and dresses, tops for all occasions, and inexpensive accessories. In look one, the black-and-white plaid skirt costs $27 while the top is $23. The black dress, perfect for the cooler weather that will soon be upon us, $40, and the eye-popping red vest in look three costs $25 (and will also be available in yellow).

The best thing about having international designers create clothing for Target is that it frees you up to splurge on other accessories…like shoes. Have fun shopping!

-Sara

I often come in contact with families dealing with domestic violence (DV) in my work. With every encounter, I am shocked by the “blame the victim” messages I hear, often from the systems survivors use to try to get help. As a result, many survivors believe it’s their fault, if they had done something different, the violence would not have occurred. I’m tired of the “blame the victim” game. Rather than putting the responsibility for intimate partner violence on the victim, we must 1) understand the issue and our collective responsibility for addressing it; 2) empower survivors to get help in order to stay safe; and 3) hold the aggressors accountable. If you are in a violent relationship or you know someone who is, I hope this article will be helpful. Even if you are not personally affected by domestic violence, you can play a role in stopping it. You’ll find some ideas and strategies here, too.

Get informed.
One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.[1] Nationally and internationally, domestic violence affects people of every age, race, class, religious background, and sexual orientation. The same is true for gender, though 73% of all victims of family violence are female.[2] According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence , women constitute 84% of victims of spousal abuse and 86% of victims of abuse at the hands of boyfriends.[3] DV is not just physical, but emotional, verbal, sexual, psychological, and financial/economic. It is about power and control, about manipulation and isolation. It is not about anger and rage. Why? Because most batterers do not hurt anyone other than their partners, are able to stop when it is to their advantage to do so, and only inflict wounds where they won’t show.[4] Furthermore, we must think of relationship abuse as more than individual and isolated instances of violence and instead as “an enduring, chronic, traumatic experience that shapes women’s behavior, distorts their view of self, and undermines their belief in the controllability of their own lives”(Smith et al, 1995, 180). [5]

Know what to look for.
Do you think you might be experiencing abuse, or do you know someone who is? Here are some warning signs of abuse relationships.[6]

[Read more →]

Wow what a weekend.  Isaac Hayes was found unconscious next to his still-running treadmill.  He was pronounced dead at 2 p.m. on Sunday.

Bernie Mac died on Saturday from complications from pneumonia.  He was 50.

A few weeks ago I went to the premiere of Black Night with some friends from Rappers I Know and GAK City (I’m so shameless with it) and I must say, the movie was incredible. Yes, it is long (2 hours 35 minutes) but it is jammed packed with action and surprises. And Heath Ledger was amazing (and no I’m not just saying that because he died).

But this isn’t a movie review.

Instead, I feel like pondering a concept that was repeated throughout the movie: heroes.

How long should a hero “stick around?” Why do some heroes die young while others live long enough to turn into villains? Naturally, my mind turns to Mugabe (if you’re out the know, read up here). How does a man transform from a national hero into an international villain? Or in our own backyard - how does someone like Jesse Jackson (not a villain, per se) fall so hard from grace?

Are the untold secrets of heroes knowing when to say when? Is that why we still adore Mandela? Are untimely deaths part of the secret to eternal adoration? Would MLK and Malcolm X still carry the same pull if they were alive today? Or would we be giving them the side eye and telling them to go sit somewhere and be still? Is the sign of a true hero one who knows when to bow down? Does a great leader pave the wave for younger talent and leave while they are still adored and relevant? [Read more →]

Whoops. Yeah I know it’s Sunday but I’m still calling it Shout out Saturday.

Shout out to P.O.S.H. for reminding us that sometimes thick = fat. Let’s get it together ladies.

Shout out to What about our Daughters for keeping the Lavena Johnson story public. If you don’t know Lavena’s story, check her memorial page.

Oh yeah, nominations are open for the the 2008 Black Weblog Awards, so go ahead and nominate your favorites (ahem).

peace,
e.

we’d rank #16 in the world for the number of men and women with HIV/AIDS, according to the Black AIDS Institute. Today’s New York TImes reports that if Black America were it’s own country, we’d rand 105th on life expectancy. This is a real problem.

Nearly 600,000 African-Americans are living with H.I.V., the virus that causes AIDS, and up to 30,000 are becoming infected each year. When adjusted for age, their death rate is two and a half times that of infected whites, the report said.

I mean, really? How do people get AIDS anymore? (don’t answer that). And it gets worse,

The Black AIDS Institute took note of that program in criticizing the administration’s efforts at home. The group said that more black Americans were living with the AIDS virus than the infected populations in Botswana, Ethiopia, Guyana, Haiti, Namibia, Rwanda or Vietnam — 7 of the 15 countries that receive support from the administration’s anti-AIDS program.

Why do we have a better grip on AIDS as an international problem than a domestic one? Why is there plan? Why are there no goals? (don’t answer those either) The AIDS epidemic in this country really gets me worked up. While attend grad school I interned at an Infectious Disease (read: AIDS) clinic. I handled intake for the newly infected, and it was not easy. Everyone was brown, granted I was in the Bronx, but it was really disheatening. Old women, young men, pregnant women, people who felt they couldn’t share their status with anyone.

I’m going to have a Bill Cosby moment and say “Come on people!” We need to get it together because this disease is wiping us out.

The federal government and communities needed to promote more testing among all people, particularly blacks, to detect H.I.V. infection in its earliest stages when treatment is more effective, Dr. Gayle said.

I read that quote and then I read what YBPG had to say about trying to get tested and all I can do is roll my eyes. I had a similar experience that last time I went to get tested for HIV. Essentially I was told that I didn’t need to be tested but I insisted. Yeah telling Black people to not get tested will REALLY lower the AIDS rate. *rolls eyes*

The article continues on and talks about the need to promote needle exchange programs - this is sounding so CNN Black in America right now. How about promoting healthy dialogs with sexual partners? How about promoting HIV tests when men are released from prison?

</steps off soap box>

To read the full report, click here.
For more depressing statistics about AIDS in the Black community, check out the CDC website.
Want to get tested? Click here to find testing site locations nationwide.

peace,
e.

In the highly anticipated yet grossly diluted (this is solely my opinion) CNN series “Black in America”, Michael Eric Dyson stated that he feels that he was afforded more opportunities to have a flourishing, prosperous life than his brother because Eric is of a lighter hue and his brother is darker….and thus incarcerated. The “rapper” Yung Berg went public with his preference for light-skinned women over dark-skinned women. The producer Polow da Don has been long accused of shunning black women completely and targeting white women as potential mates, although he actually prefers “white women with a little black in them and black women with a little white in them” (whatever that means). It’s the year 2008, and “colorism” is still an issue that the African- American race deals with. Is it as big of a deal as we make it out to be? Or are we not focusing on it enough?

Who says beauty, intelligence, and prosperity belongs only to African-Americans of a lighter hue? I’ve heard darker African-American females “hate on” lighter African-American females because they feel that men prefer them with their light skin and “wet and wear” curly hair. An African-American male has once said to me that he thinks that “light-skinned women are crazy…they think the world owes them something because they think they are cute.” Is life really harder for those of us who are darker? I can name several darker African-Americans, including myself, who’ve succeeded without scratching and surviving on an extreme level. Oprah Winfrey. Michael Jordan. Condoleezza Rice. Perhaps anything worth having is based on one’s ability to perform vs. what he or she looks like. There are also lighter African-Americans who’ve had unfortunate situations occur in their lives, past and present. Rosa Parks was asked to sit in the back of the bus like all other African-Americans, and Halle Berry has yet to have a successful marriage. She’s been beaten on and cheated on. Can it get any worse than that?

So, when are we going to stop pointing the finger at others and blaming each other for where we are and how we feel about ourselves? Dyson’s brother isn’t incarcerated because he’s darker. He’s incarcerated due to decisions that he made and activities that he chose to participate in. Is it that Sarah wasn’t offered the job because she’s dark, or because she doesn’t interview well? If that guy passes you over because you are darker, then is that someone that you really need to put your energy and effort into? You are where you are based on decisions you’ve made, regardless of what the influence may have been. Own it. [Read more →]

Here’s the story - girl likes my guy friend. He’s not interested. He tells her he is not interested in a relationship and that he is happily single. The story should end here. Instead of reading the clues the girl continues her chase and says “Oh we should be friends.” (mistake # 1) Now instead of telling her the truth - that’s he doesn’t even want to be friends - the guy says “Sure.” The girls constantly invites the guy to events and the guy constantly tells her “No.” (mistake #2). Then the girl starts badgering their mutual friends about the guy (mistake #3). So now instead of the guy is more than uninterested, he is now annoyed by her and goes out of his way to avoid her. And to add insult to injury now not only does he think she’s crazy, but now so do his friends.

Ladies, it didn’t have to be this way. I hate to do this but recently it’s become too painful to watch us ignore the reality that a brotha we are into is just not into us. So I decided to write this helpful guide to help us avoid being that chick.

As Bari always says, we need to stop rationalizing what’s going on and be real with ourselves.

So what should the girl have done differently? When he said I don’t want a relationship, she should have kept it moving. When he said “I don’t want a relationship,” she added the words “right now” to the end instead of hearing “with you” which is most likely what he meant.

She thought she was slick with the “Let’s be friends” bit but fella don’t fall for that anymore. And we really need to stop thinking life ends like the movies, where the dude will finally realize you were the one for him all along. Ladies, let’s be real, it rarely, if ever, goes down like that.

So what are some clues that he’s REALLY not into you:

• he NEVER calls back
• he NEVER writes back
• he NEVER accepts you invitations to museums, parks, movies, parties or dinner
• if you catch him on AIM or gchat all his responses are one word long
• he stops attending social events where you used to bump into him
• your mutual friends avoid talking with you about him - like they shut the conversation down

Ladies, if the man you are pursuing does any or all of the above to you, you need to take a step back and really think “Is this guy into me?” or if you want to be really real with yourself, “Am I playing myself?”

If you think, “No, this guy really isn’t into me,” you should pat yourself on the back, have a glass of wine and continue on with your life.

If you think, “Yeah this guy is into me, he just doesn’t know it yet/he’s playing hard to get/some other foolish rationalization,” I’m gonna need for you to scroll up and read this post again.

Good luck ladies.

peace,
e.

In keeping with what appears to be the theme of the week in the blogosphere, here are some of my fav reactions to CNN’s Black in America:

• Jose made the personal political, as usual.
• P.O.S.H. focused on the health disparities section, and unlike CNN, offered some suggestions about what we can do. Check it.
• Young Black Professional Guide gave everyone who didn’t enjoy the special a big “F*ck You.” *shrugs*
• Ta-Nahishi Coats flat out refused to watch it.
• Post Bougie had his doubts about how CNN could portray an entire people (it couldn’t) in 2 two-hour specials (it didn’t).

Enjoy your weekend!

peace,
e.